Once again for April 1st, I’ve scraped the bottom of my WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! files, in order to show you the very “best” of vintage BADvertisements, beauty concoctions for those with a death wish, questionable record jackets, and this year featuring the ever popular bridesmaids of the 1980s.

Oh, those “Back Aches” peculiar to LADIES. You know the ones.

Oh, those “Back Aches” peculiar to LADIES. You know the ones.

No one’s dissatisfied because they’re no longer living.

No one’s dissatisfied because they’re no longer living.

 
And if the hair thing doesn’t work out, it makes a reasonable Jello mold.

And if the hair thing doesn’t work out, it makes a reasonable Jello mold.

What could possibly go wrong?

What could possibly go wrong?

Yup, that looks real.

Yup, that looks real.

Germs aren’t the only things that will die.

Germs aren’t the only things that will die.

Pop Tarts and several Cokes for breakfast and she’ll be good to go.

Pop Tarts and several Cokes for breakfast and she’ll be good to go.

Why am I just finding out about this?

Why am I just finding out about this?

Gap-osis: it makes a guy's eyes shoot not daggers, but zipper teeth. A warning to us all (about zippers, or possibly guys) from 1940.

Gap-osis: it makes a guy's eyes shoot not daggers, but zipper teeth. A warning to us all (about zippers, or possibly guys) from 1940.

Why suffer when you could be wearing one of these babies?

Why suffer when you could be wearing one of these babies?

Those born with dimples are part of a secret society that have been placed on earth to bring joy to all.

Those born with dimples are part of a secret society that have been placed on earth to bring joy to all.

For tightening those full lips…without any obligation on your part.

For tightening those full lips…without any obligation on your part.

Never worked for me…

Never worked for me…

Ah the good ol’ days, when you weren’t fat enough.

Ah the good ol’ days, when you weren’t fat enough.

The girl on the left should have been born in 1995.

The girl on the left should have been born in 1995.

I could show you how to do that, no trouble.

I could show you how to do that, no trouble.

Really? In public??

Really? In public??

Don’t miss this one folks!

Don’t miss this one folks!

To each their own special purpose.

To each their own special purpose.

And speaking of blowing, Illinois’ 1956 Miss Universe contestant certainly has nailed her talent segment.

And speaking of blowing, Illinois’ 1956 Miss Universe contestant certainly has nailed her talent segment.

Warning: These are the last three faces you will see before you meet Jesus.

Warning: These are the last three faces you will see before you meet Jesus.

The puffier the clothing, the longer the marriage.

The puffier the clothing, the longer the marriage.

The look on the face of the girl on the floor says it all.

The look on the face of the girl on the floor says it all.

So THAT’S where my mylar space blankets went.

So THAT’S where my mylar space blankets went.

Sale at the tanning parlor.

Sale at the tanning parlor.

I Janine, take you Moth…

I Janine, take you Moth…

Put some wheels under this and you actually have a half-decent parade float.

Put some wheels under this and you actually have a half-decent parade float.

Until next April 1! 👋

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